BROKENESS

“I’m broke” Now, that’s one statement that it would be almost right to say that every single living person old enough to know the value of money as used. The big question is who qualifies to make such a statement? How broke do you need to be to use it, what those it mean to be broke? How broke have you been? I know someone that just because he couldn’t afford business class was cursing “damn I’m broke” I felt like saying “Nigger you ain’t broke” or am I wrong?  So, what’s brokenness?

First, I checked the dictionary for the definition (lets establish some basics). According to Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary, being “broke” is to have no money. Quite simple and straight forward right? (Don’t know why for some reason I expected some longer definition) so even if you were dumb you’d get it. “Having no money” as in zilch, nada, nothing at all, the absence of cheedah, ba ku di (maybe going vernacular would help) I mean like things being really tight, as tight as a virgins p***y (okay, that came out wrong… but you get the metaphor)

So, how broke have you been? From the movie “8 mile” my man Eminem, (ya, you heard me right I said my man Em) in a battle said: “… look at his boots, they’re growing roots…” How possible is that? Well, have you at any point had only one pair of shoes that you’ve used it for too long that it becomes part of the earth? If you have, then you’d relate. Kanye West in the song “Run this town” asked: “Have you ever had shoes without shoe strings?” if your response to that question was yes, then we are on the right path. So, I’ll ask again how broke have you been?

Have you ever been so broke that you meet a girl (probably the girl of your dream) but the only thing stopping you from wooing her is the thought of you picking up the bill. I’m not talking about a bill of N5000, no, but that of a Coke and Meat pie. What of a situation where you can’t even afford “gold circle” condoms (men, that’s sad).

So, if you went to southern fries today or Mr. Biggs or any of those fancy eateries, I ain’t talking to you. I’m talking about going to “Master Smalls” where a coke and Okin biscuits would just do fine.  Am not talking about you wearing a “TM LEWIS” instead of a “TM LEWIN” (at least youre wearing something new) I’m talking about wearing the same shirt over and over again that it becomes your uniform because the closest you’d ever get to a “TM LEWIS” is a magazine.

  Have you ever been so broke that its like you’re under house arrest but the only difference is there ain’t no security waiting outside just incase you might try to escape. Some times it gets so bad that the only thing that keeps you going is you day dreaming about your future cars and houses. I’m talking about you becoming a vegetarian just because you can’t afford beef, chicken or fish. If you’ve ever gone through all your shirts and trouser pockets hoping to find 500 bucks or used your ATM card hoping that you’d find some mysterious N1000 somewhere to withdraw then you’ve been broke. 

By now you must have gotten my drift, and in a bid not to over flog the issue I’ll end this way. Brokenness is a bitch, it can mess up a persons image and psyche, it is worse than AIDS. So, please be grateful for flying economy class, or for lodging at the “Protea” and not the Hilton, or even for taking a bus instead of taking a cab (for god sakes, some peeps are trekking). You’s Niggas ain’t broke, you’re just suffering some temporary set back (get it!)

So, seriously how broke have you been? 

  

THE SIMONS AND THE JIDES

She sat next to me in the bus, pretty young thing ignoring her phone. It rang again and she did what she had been doing for the last twenty minutes - checked who it was and dropped it back into her bag hissing. I swore under my breath that the next time I heard her annoying ring tone, I would throw it out of the bus (you know those ring tones found in “China phones” that are always loud and irritating). It rang again (I still don’t know why I didn’t throw it out) this time she picked the call.

“What!” she asked irritated and annoyed.

“No, I can’t make it… I’m still at the office and it would take me time to get home” she answered the caller.

I looked around me just to make sure I was in a bus and not her office as she lied, I felt like saying “Haba, aunty” but instead I chose to mind my business.

“No no no… don’t wait for me, I’ll be long” she was saying evidently annoyed

“I said I don’t know when I’ll be back…”

“Is it that you are not hearing me or is it that you don’t understand…” she retorted

“Look, do what ever you like “

At that instant, I felt totally ashamed. Who was this guy that was dragging our gender into the mud? I felt like dragging the phone from her and screaming into it “De girl talk say she no wan make you wait for am, Na by force!”  She had hung up by now but the idiot kept calling back. Obviously, she did not pick it thus we were stuck with that annoying ring tone. Fifteen minutes later, (I guess) the phone was still ringing, talk about resilience abi na tenacity?

The whole thing made me think, what was so special about the lady seated besides me that would make a guy call over and over again? Was it her cooking? Did she owe him money? (Nah! I do not think so) Or was it her looks (for the record, she wasn’t all that) maybe he was in love (I doubt it) or was she the best he ever had? I choose to go with the later. Still, why should a man or who ever take all that embarrassment.

“You again?” she said surprised, (he must have used an unknown number) snapping me away from my thoughts.

“Look Simon, I said I don’t know how soon I would be back, don’t bother waiting for me”

“If you like wait…” she said giving up evidently exasperated.

So, the fool’s name was Simon, funny enough, I know a Simon that could do something similar (so, maybe it was a Simon thing... Simon Itodo na joke o.)

She was done with her call again allowing me to get back to my thoughts. I tried to imagine how this Simon dude was like, was he that dumb that he actually couldn’t hear all the hostility in her voice or did he just choose not to hear them? Nigger please.

Her phone rang again but this time it wasn’t the annoying China phone ring tone, this tone was the real deal. I looked at her as she picked her Nokia N63 phone. “Hey you,” she answered excitedly.

“Jide is not like that… in fact, I should be in town very soon…”

Aha, so Jide got to be saved in a Nokia N63 while Simon got the China phone I thought.

“Immediately I get into town I would come straight to your place” she was saying.

I felt like asking her what about Simon, the poor dude would be left waiting probably in front of her door step.

And it hit me, that was life for you. We had the Simon’s who got the China phones and got talked to disrespectfully (may be the deserved it, that I can’t say) and the Jides that got the Nokia N63’s and got spoken to like kings. Sometimes, Simons become Jides and vice versa but which ever way the table decides to turn, I remain a Jide.

At this point, we had reached our destination and as we highlighted from the bus her China phone rang again, again (repetition should be permitted in this instant) and for the first time I saw the screen of the phone, it read. “MUGU 2 calling”

Obviously she did not pick it up, this time she switched it off and dropped it back into her bag. I shuck my head in pity walking away “There goes the end to the sad story of Simon the Mugu.”

THE SPAGHETTI WITH A SWAGGER

Okay, I’ve had it! I’m tired, aren’t you? I mean it when I say the next time that I hear that word, I’m ma shoot some one. Yes, you heard me right and I mean that literally. I’m ma go get myself a gun and pull the trigger thrice (and don’t ask me where I’m ma get a gun from, this is Naija- home of the “Sharp guys”) the next time I hear that word.

Once upon a time, that particular word used to give me so much pleasure, it used to make me walk on water but today, it drives me crazy. You should be wondering what word, well, it’s that four letter word SWAG (shit! I just said it) and all the other synonyms and phrases that come with it- “Swagger” “Swaggalicious” “Mad- swag”. Aha, now you know where I’m coming from.

Jeez, we Nigerians sure know how to spoil a good thing don’t we, the word “Swag” has always been there since time immemorial (check your dictionary, it’s on page...) but if you lived on this part of the globe, you’d think it just got introduced to the English language. Back in the day, only a few of us (not you) used it with “Mad Swag” (what! It’s true) only when it was applicable and things were cool but all that suddenly changed. All it took was one popular musician (don’t ask me who) to use the word in his song and people suddenly went “Oh, I like that word... What does it mean...? I think I’m ma start using it” At first it was okay, it meant more people to compliment you appropriately. All they had to say was: “You’ve got swag... I like your swag” and you’d be left blushing the day. But it got worse, I would go to buy meat from the market and the Mallam would go “Oga, this nama I get swag sosia fa” for God sake, even my immediate younger sister started using the word too (no pun intended, but the only time you hear a word or song from her mouth is when its become public consumption)

It was every where, Terry G, KC Presh, Neato C, the list is endless and the most annoying thing was the way some of these artists used it. “Ginger your swagger” “Swagger the ginger” just name it they said it. So, it was only expected when the corporate world caught in on the “swag craze” I took it all in, (like the patient person I am) I endured it all, the overuse and misuse of the word until the day I saw that billboard. It read: “THE SPAGHETTI WITH A SWAGGER” that was the last straw. The spaghetti with a swagger, what did they mean by that? How am I supposed to eat spaghetti with a swagger? Was it that the spaghetti had style or what? Who came up with that line? At this point allow my mind to wonder. 

“A group of six, maybe eight men and women after brain storming for lets say a week over the new by-line for  the new spaghetti brand and  probably after sleepless nights, someone said “hey guys I’ve got it” snapping his finger “a spaghetti with a swagger.” And the other seven responded “jeez, man that’s wonderful, why didn’t we think of that sooner, you’re the man Tunde (I’m assuming only a Tunde would think of that. What! Okay, forget it)” Next, they presented it to a board of whatever and they went “Oh, we love it. Great work guys... here is your cheque”

Christ! You see why I need a gun, we need to stop them, shoot them, beat them, do what ever it takes to save our precious “SWAG” Our legislators need to pass a law limiting its use per day; five swaggers a day per person (is that too much? Okay three)

The word swag along with all it other synonyms has become an endangered word, we need to act now to save it otherwise, it just might become extinct. You don’t believe me? Look up the word “koko”.....  is it still in the dictionary?

MY IMPRESSIVE COLLECTION 4

I can’t believe I have just gone through seven years in three pages (I feel like a speed train) but before I conclude let me talk about the classics in my collection. Very few people know the brother Silver Saddih but I think of all the albums I have bought, his album “the Bard” was the best RnB album done by any Nigerian. That album released in 2006 went almost unnoticed, infact, it was not until 2008 that a friend of mine got to hear of him. Songs like “One, Magic Spell, I want you and Rawa” were all beautiful songs from that album. There was no one who heard his song that didn’t give him props (even though they didn’t know who he was) so, for those of you that knew or bought the album back then, you’re the lucky few. Paul Play’s “Angel of my Life” album was another classic. I know how many people who didn’t believe it was a Nigerian that sang songs like “Angel of my life, Forever and You and me” the ladies fell in love with that album and even I that wasn’t a Paul Play fan  bought it.

 Lagbaja was totally unexpected. The masked one came from no where and stole the show. You didn’t need to understand Yoruba to listen to him, he was totally different. Which song should I even talk about, is it “Gragra” abi na “No thing for you” or “Konko below” Ha! I just said it “konko below”. That song gave all “Omoge campuses” the licence to wine their waist, omo, the ladies really grooved to that song and we couldn’t complain. (Thanks, baba mukomuko).

What is the Koko? I’ll tell you. When Dapo came back from the UK and dropped that song “Tongolo” need I tell you what happened?  The “No long thing” album by the Koko master D’banj was it, you couldn’t touch it, and it was on a long thing. D’banj gave us something that no one had brought to the Naija music scene- Swag. It was more than the songs, it was more than all the slang expressions that came with it, it was even more than the personae, he brought sexy back. His very first album was a classic, which one was your favourite? was it “Soco” or “Mogbolowonwo” or “All the way” that album had it all. He “Don Jazzed” us all.

Nuff said, maybe some day twenty years from now, these old time classics would fetch me a fortune like they do abroad or maybe the would be collections to brag about to my grand kids the way you hear your folks talk about them Fela’s and Ebenezer Obey’s of this world. I can’t explain it, there’s something about having the albums as they come and not buying it years after or just ripping it. To me they are like wine the older the better. I watch people scream and talk about Naija music today with so mush interest and I just smile, to me they’re like “kids” and when some try to pick an argument with me over the industry (an industry I watched grow, that I contributed my own share of one hundred and fifty naira diligently for God knows how long) I just shake my head (“no be una fault” I feel like saying). Haven’t I earned the right like Eldee da Don and Tuface to say “I’ve been doing this way before it became cool, before them Banky W’s, Terry G’s and Wizkid’s?”

Allow me to borrow a few lines from Eldee’s intro in his first solo album “Return of the king”

“I’ve been doing it before trybesmen recorded a hit before everybody thought they could spit. I’ve been doing it when it was all about the love before radio created the buzz. I’ve been doing it before the days of democracy before all this keeping it real hypocrisy. I’ve been doing it from campus to campus, state to state so all y’all can relate. I’ve been doing it before your folks thought rap was cool when the only way out was school. I’ve been doing it before y’all started going abroad before Tuface got the awards. I’ve been doing it when the labels wouldn’t give us a chance before Psquare knew how to dance. I’ve been doing it when all we had was cassettes before GSM handsets. I’ve been doing it long enough to say I’m the king.... I’m still doing it...”

MY IMPRESSIVE COLLECTION 3

The year 2004 and 2005 saw a turning point in our music industry, things were changing, a new crop of musicians were getting on the scene. There was Kush with the album “The Experience” Rymzo with “take mediocres off the stage” and 9ice with the “Certificate” (yes, I got that too). People were coming back home from outside the country and we were seeing more university graduates and under graduates becoming musicians. Them Daddy Showkeys and Father U-Turns were being kicked out. Don’t get me wrong, these group of artist did their own share and we thank them for it. They showed us it was okay to be razz...no, no, that’s not the right word. It was okay to be you, yeah, that’s it. Because if you didn’t dance or attempt to dance Galala or didn’t even at least hum to “If you see my mama hozanna, tell am say o, hozanna, I dey for gate e, I no get problem...” then you were leaving somewhere in Siberia.

 When our Nigerian brothers “JJC and the 419 squad” who were based in London dropped “Naija Atide” it was crazy. The album had the national anthem “Gbao” and other songs like “Kilonsele” and “See me see Wahala”. It was gradually becoming cool to be Naija. So, when Marvellous Benjy taught us the brand new dance “Swo” off his album “Take Control” it was an instant hit. It was the very first attempt at a Naija type of dancehall and boy, did I rock that c.d. there was no party you went to that you didn’t hear: “Attention! Old dance gone, new dance come...Is a brand new dance fe all raga fans wey Mr. Bengy bring come... Oya sing, Galala no dey do dem again, Konto no dey sweet dem again o, Makosa no rule dem again, Swo na dey new dance wey dey reign...” Even the so called big boys and girls were learning it. I still remember how many girls I got just because I could dance “Swo” well. “Please teach me” they would beg (allow me to remain for a moment in the past).

It was also around this period that the awards came pouring in. Tuface Idibia was making us proud and also getting shot at the same time (A real gangster right?) Naija music was on a high but we didn’t know it was only the beginning. By the time artists from outside Lagos started taking centre stage things were on a whole new level. Psquare from the University of Abuja dropped “Last nite” and even though they suffered a lot of criticisms, them twins got us nodding along to their songs. Those boys suffered o, I know how many pure water bags hit them while performing on stage. But by the time these good looking brothers from Anambra state dropped their second album “Get squared” with their videos, they had “Bizzy bodied” their ways into our hearts. It was no contest, there was no artist on this side of the globe that danced half as well as they did or had videos as good as theirs. For everyone that called them “copy copy” back then, guess you’re asking for autographs now.

Stylplus was the next big thing Abuja had to offer and all I’m ma say is “Olufunmi” (yeah, I know you all remember that one) that particular song was a monster classic. Between you and me, that very song got me a girlfriend. Her name was Funmilola and all I had to do was sing that song over and over to her (amongst other things). Shit! how could I have forgotten the very first Abuja export “Age Beeka” (forgive me) please tell me you remember the song “Angelica” and “Girl of my dreams” Age was the very first soul brother this country had to offer even before Asa, Excetera and Bez. Yes, I’ve got that album too, (that’s one of my rarest collections) these boys from Abuja told the Lagos peeps that we-also-can-do-this-shit-too.

On the rap scene things were also changing when the Lyrist Mode 9 dropped “Malcom IX” Mode 9 killed it, his punch lines and metaphors were right on point, there was no real hip-hop head who listened to that brother without going “Damn!” Punch lines from my favourite song off the album “Elbow Room” are: “Without there fingers in my toilet they’re feeling my shit” and “...You’ve got the lemon and the torch I’ve got the limelight, read the sign right, before you battle MOD coz when I’m done I’m ma sign right on your POP...”  

NY IMPRESSIVE COLLECTION 2

By my first year in the University, Kennis Music had every big artist in the country, (okay, not every. Kennis Saint Brown didn’t qualify as big. I wonder what is it with that woman? Even Jesus would have trouble selling her) so, it was only expected that I bought my first and only ever Tony Tetuela’s “My car” album (looking back now, I think that was his best effort ever) and Eedris’s “Mr. Lecturer” album. Of course, Eedris Abdulkarim was the biggest thing back then with songs like “Oko ashawo” and “Wakawiki MC (I still remember the video, it was the coolest thing)” He was so big that he got to carry the Olympic torch when it came to Nigeria. (I still can’t wrap my head around that one, they said it was Nigerians that voted, but I know I didn’t vote same as my friends. So who did? Hmm,  fishy right? Well that’s history now.) Do you remember raising “one leg up” to the song Oko Omoge? Well, I almost got a limp from doing that at every party back then. 

Naija music by then was becoming all about the clubs (still is) so when the “Naija Ninja” Sound Sultan from Festac came on the scene, it was long over due. His album was my next acquisition. As a Festac boy, we had to promote our own (where una dey? FTT for life!). That particular album was different, it was not about parties and girls, no, it was socially and politically on point. From that album one could see that Fela Anikulapo-Kuti had a strong influence on him, the ever famous “Mathematics” “Koleyewon” and “Kenge.” were all hits from that album. It was clear that this was a brother that was using his head. At this juncture permit me to take your minds back.

“...Every body oya o join jagbajantiz slove mathematics, ko ma da ba ru our continent... ooo... oyinbo say na BODMAS we go use take solve mathematics....oya carry biro...”

So, when Baba Dee (Sound Sultans elder brother) came out with that smashing single featuring Tuface and Sound Sultan “Sodi e’” I had to get it.

Between 2002- 2003, all the groups were breaking up. First, was the Plantashun Bioz, then the Remedies and finally the Trybesmen, but it was only the beginning. They had done their parts and taken Naija music to a new level. The Trybesmen before they broke up decided to leave us with a farewell album titled “The Big Picture” which had a compilation of their solo efforts and songs like “Oya” “Ruff play” and “Watch me”. With everyone going solo, it was expected that the artists from these defunct groups would try to prove themselves. Freestyle from Trybesmen was the first to drop his album “Free at last” and as usual, yours truly was there to grab it. Remember the song celebrity? Oya make I sing am; “...when I hustle my money, you go follow me chop am, na me bring you come lagos abi I resemble your father...” Every guy loved that song back then because it spoke our minds. (Ladies don’t hate) I even got the beef song that Eldee da Don dropped in response to Freestyle’s song “bragging right” (guess you didn’t even know a song like that existed.) which wasn’t in Eldee’s solo album “Return of the King” in 2006. Timi “The Black One” of “Da trybe” also released his only existing album “Na flash” till date. That album spoke to me, it addressed the issues that came with the newly introduced GSM’s to the country like “flashing”, phones and recharge cards. It also talked about girls that were too demanding. My best line from the song Free me was that of him hating the month of February because it was his girlfriend’s birthday, their anniversary and of course Valentine. For any guy in the university back then that was interested in any chick he could relate to these lines “...Ladies, why are you so damn expensive, your cost price dey  make boys hypertensive. Sorry, you can’t have me unless you spend a million or two, Shuu! You wan make I become a mumu for you? You no know say I be sharp guy, once bitten twice shy....” and “...Timi I’m hungry let’s go to TLC, haha, what the hell is wrong with the school canteen...” Now you can understand why I loved that album, it provided solace for a two hundred level student back then- Me.  ....

MY IMPRESSIVE COLLECTION 1

I was bored one Saturday rainy morning, as usually PHCN was up to it again “again” (like my ibo brother Dat nigga raw) and “ko si epo ni nu generator.” So I decided to go through my Nigerian audio “c.d” collection. On opening the bag (it’s been a while since I have looked at it) 2Shotz’s album “pirated copy” (his very first album) got my attention and I immediately went nostalgic. Songs like “carry am go” and “odeshi” came running through my mind like a force field. And that began my search for all my old time favourites.

   

                              

The very first Naija album I bought was the Trybesmen’s “LGA” back in 98. I still remember the sweet lyrics of ‘Shake bodi” and “trybal marks” the chorus of “tribal marks” still remains fresh in my mind like it was yesterday: “Na who do dis rappin... tribesmen...Ogbon ge’ rappin... I hear am for party, I come catch the gbedu fever...how I for rock am...” After that particular album, it had to be the Plantashun Bioz Body and Soul album, ha! That album was the shit back then, (still is) I still remember how many love lines I stole from that album to use on girls and for those that worked... I am forever grateful to the group. For an SS2 student in 98, one hundred and fifty naira to spend on an album was no small money, my friends thought I was crazy “why waste your money on this garbage” they said and I didn’t blame them. Every boy my age was listening to Mase, Biggy, Puffy, Boyz2men,One twelve and the others but not me, I had to bring in the Naija thing. Eedris Abdulkareem of the Remedies was not making my work of defending Naija music any easy with his “migidishigidishigidi a” “Is that what you call rapping” they would ask. So, imagine my relief when Ruggedman came out with “Ehn part 1” “Peace or War” and “Oh oh” from his first album “Thy album come” it was a breath of fresh air.

                                       

    

Then the Plantashun Bioz broke up after the “Sold out” album and I thought it was over but then they served us three different albums instead of one “Face2Face” “Faze alone” and “Ghetto Child” (which still remains Blackface’s best solo album till date). All these albums I bought and even though the followership was still growing, it was getting better. Oh no, how could I have forgotten Paul Play, I also have his first album “Playground” and the album off the “mosorire” song. For the benefit of those that don’t know the meaning of the word “mosorire” it means I am fortunate. Now, you understand why that particular song ushered a lot of us into the year 2000, (or Y2K like we called it back then). Even though people criticized “Maintain” I still think they were the real originators of Hip-hop served in your local dialect, songs like “Alo alo o (story story o)” “Mi o ma le ti motor” and “Domitila” were my very first romance with the boys from Ibadan- Olu, Tolu and Big Bamo.

              

 

THE STREET LIGHTS OF ABUJA CITY ARE GONE

I took a walk through the ever busy Ademola Adetokunbo Street of Wuse 2 in Abuja and I couldn’t help but notice that something was different. So, I had to take a second walk, only this time it was a more conscious one. “What was different?” I asked myself. The Clubs, bars, restaurants were still there, same as the banks, even the famous Amigos was there. So what was missing? Then it hit me- The Street lights.

By now one would be asking what was so special about these street lights that I had to write about, well, these ones were different. For the benefit of those that do not know, street lights are those long metal pole-like things with bulbs at the top that light up the street. A walk through these streets and one would not miss them even if he was asleep. These street lights came in different colours, shades, shapes and sizes, yes, you read correctly “shapes and sizes.” The called out to you when you passed by (I meant it literally) and on Saturdays’ and Fridays? Ha, the shone the brightest.

The bigger or more recent your car was the brighter the shone, all you had to do was park in front of them and you could actually take one of them home (yes o, for this Abuja our street lights na advanced technology) for a token fee. My friend Sly after long hours at night in the office would take a walk to feed his eyes on them and by the time he was done, he had so much energy to work. So, you see, our street lights also provided “energy” (Redbull wouldn’t work such magic)

“Hey handsome” the would call out and boy were the attractive. What was your pick? Heavy front side? Intimidating back side?  A mixture of both? Yellow or black? We had them all and we never complained. They lithe up the streets of Abuja, made 20 kilometres seem like two and amused us. They were like flowers; they made our streets more beautiful and emitted lovely fragrances (call them night flowers).

Like we say, “a good thing never lasts forever” the appointment of the new minister of F.C.T brought an end to our beloved street lights. Now, the streets of Abuja are dark, lonely and sad. That usual glow they had is no more, our street lights are gone. It feels like walking through a graveyard at night, my friend Sly can’t work that long no more, his energy providers are gone. Mr. Minister, on behave of the good people of F.C.T. especially the night crawlers, we need our street lights back.

LEAVE MR. INCREDIBLE

I first heard about the short black boy from “J- town” back in 2006/07. A friend of mine brought his song to me to ask my opinion “What do you think” he asked. My reply was “you’re sure his Nigerian?” Yes, as of back then M.I sounded that good, sounded different, sounded refreshing, a break from the norm. That particular friend of mine was trying to get Joey of “Stylplus” to get him (M.I) on their label. (Funny right? Where is Joey today? But we sure do know where M.I is.)

The year is 2010 and it wouldn’t be out of place to say that every “Adamu, Sola and Ebuka” knows the name M.I. “...bobo yi ‘Emu.I’ o n rap gun... anoti ni...” I heard a bus conductor tell his fellow conductors, these were guys that you’d think the only listened to Pasuma and KWAM 1. Right now I wouldn’t be surprised if I heard an “aboki” saying “Walai aboki M.I kewu sose’ fa” After he (M.I) released his debut album “Talk about it” and the resounding success that followed, it was only expected that every other artist would want a pinch of that success.

Today, there is nearly no artist that hasn’t or doesn’t want to feature him. It first started gradually with the song Lade by Djinee and everyone suddenly got the message- “the secret to a hit was to feature Mr. Incredible.” At first, it was cool to hear his voice on every song, to hear those lines, lines like “...I will never crash, I’m no Sosoleso...or... I fly so many times a year I should rent sky...” Hearing M.I drop bars on other rappers song only went on to show his superiority and it was okay.

But like everything no matter how good or sweet it is once it gets too much becomes an issue. I turn on my radio set these days and in nearly every thirty minutes there is that song by Who-the-fuck featuring M.I. It’s become irritating. For Gods sake, why did he go do a song with Kennis Siant Brown (what! I’m ma names too. Even Tuface could not help her out) so who is next? Eedris Abdulkarim? So, I wasn’t surprised when I started reading comments about how M.I didn’t really deliver on a certain track or the other. Some even went as far as calling him wacked or simply overrated. At some point his record label (chocolate city) had to stop him from features so that he could concentrate on his. (Sometimes I wonder if he still has any new stuff to say on his sequel album.)

M.I isn’t the only artist that has suffered this over patronisation; Tuface and Timaya are artist that have also been through the same ordeal. The big question is what did Wande Coal Psquare and D’banj do differently that you don’t hear them everywhere? I know that it isn’t a question of popularity.

Yes, we know he’s Mr. Incredible but even Superman and Incredible Hulk have their days too. So, I’m ma say this the best and simplest way ever and only once so listen hard:

“LEAVE MR. INCREDIBLE THE FUCK ALONE!’