MY IMPRESSIVE COLLECTION 1

I was bored one Saturday rainy morning, as usually PHCN was up to it again “again” (like my ibo brother Dat nigga raw) and “ko si epo ni nu generator.” So I decided to go through my Nigerian audio “c.d” collection. On opening the bag (it’s been a while since I have looked at it) 2Shotz’s album “pirated copy” (his very first album) got my attention and I immediately went nostalgic. Songs like “carry am go” and “odeshi” came running through my mind like a force field. And that began my search for all my old time favourites.

   

                              

The very first Naija album I bought was the Trybesmen’s “LGA” back in 98. I still remember the sweet lyrics of ‘Shake bodi” and “trybal marks” the chorus of “tribal marks” still remains fresh in my mind like it was yesterday: “Na who do dis rappin... tribesmen...Ogbon ge’ rappin... I hear am for party, I come catch the gbedu fever...how I for rock am...” After that particular album, it had to be the Plantashun Bioz Body and Soul album, ha! That album was the shit back then, (still is) I still remember how many love lines I stole from that album to use on girls and for those that worked... I am forever grateful to the group. For an SS2 student in 98, one hundred and fifty naira to spend on an album was no small money, my friends thought I was crazy “why waste your money on this garbage” they said and I didn’t blame them. Every boy my age was listening to Mase, Biggy, Puffy, Boyz2men,One twelve and the others but not me, I had to bring in the Naija thing. Eedris Abdulkareem of the Remedies was not making my work of defending Naija music any easy with his “migidishigidishigidi a” “Is that what you call rapping” they would ask. So, imagine my relief when Ruggedman came out with “Ehn part 1” “Peace or War” and “Oh oh” from his first album “Thy album come” it was a breath of fresh air.

                                       

    

Then the Plantashun Bioz broke up after the “Sold out” album and I thought it was over but then they served us three different albums instead of one “Face2Face” “Faze alone” and “Ghetto Child” (which still remains Blackface’s best solo album till date). All these albums I bought and even though the followership was still growing, it was getting better. Oh no, how could I have forgotten Paul Play, I also have his first album “Playground” and the album off the “mosorire” song. For the benefit of those that don’t know the meaning of the word “mosorire” it means I am fortunate. Now, you understand why that particular song ushered a lot of us into the year 2000, (or Y2K like we called it back then). Even though people criticized “Maintain” I still think they were the real originators of Hip-hop served in your local dialect, songs like “Alo alo o (story story o)” “Mi o ma le ti motor” and “Domitila” were my very first romance with the boys from Ibadan- Olu, Tolu and Big Bamo.

              

 

THE STREET LIGHTS OF ABUJA CITY ARE GONE

I took a walk through the ever busy Ademola Adetokunbo Street of Wuse 2 in Abuja and I couldn’t help but notice that something was different. So, I had to take a second walk, only this time it was a more conscious one. “What was different?” I asked myself. The Clubs, bars, restaurants were still there, same as the banks, even the famous Amigos was there. So what was missing? Then it hit me- The Street lights.

By now one would be asking what was so special about these street lights that I had to write about, well, these ones were different. For the benefit of those that do not know, street lights are those long metal pole-like things with bulbs at the top that light up the street. A walk through these streets and one would not miss them even if he was asleep. These street lights came in different colours, shades, shapes and sizes, yes, you read correctly “shapes and sizes.” The called out to you when you passed by (I meant it literally) and on Saturdays’ and Fridays? Ha, the shone the brightest.

The bigger or more recent your car was the brighter the shone, all you had to do was park in front of them and you could actually take one of them home (yes o, for this Abuja our street lights na advanced technology) for a token fee. My friend Sly after long hours at night in the office would take a walk to feed his eyes on them and by the time he was done, he had so much energy to work. So, you see, our street lights also provided “energy” (Redbull wouldn’t work such magic)

“Hey handsome” the would call out and boy were the attractive. What was your pick? Heavy front side? Intimidating back side?  A mixture of both? Yellow or black? We had them all and we never complained. They lithe up the streets of Abuja, made 20 kilometres seem like two and amused us. They were like flowers; they made our streets more beautiful and emitted lovely fragrances (call them night flowers).

Like we say, “a good thing never lasts forever” the appointment of the new minister of F.C.T brought an end to our beloved street lights. Now, the streets of Abuja are dark, lonely and sad. That usual glow they had is no more, our street lights are gone. It feels like walking through a graveyard at night, my friend Sly can’t work that long no more, his energy providers are gone. Mr. Minister, on behave of the good people of F.C.T. especially the night crawlers, we need our street lights back.

LEAVE MR. INCREDIBLE

I first heard about the short black boy from “J- town” back in 2006/07. A friend of mine brought his song to me to ask my opinion “What do you think” he asked. My reply was “you’re sure his Nigerian?” Yes, as of back then M.I sounded that good, sounded different, sounded refreshing, a break from the norm. That particular friend of mine was trying to get Joey of “Stylplus” to get him (M.I) on their label. (Funny right? Where is Joey today? But we sure do know where M.I is.)

The year is 2010 and it wouldn’t be out of place to say that every “Adamu, Sola and Ebuka” knows the name M.I. “...bobo yi ‘Emu.I’ o n rap gun... anoti ni...” I heard a bus conductor tell his fellow conductors, these were guys that you’d think the only listened to Pasuma and KWAM 1. Right now I wouldn’t be surprised if I heard an “aboki” saying “Walai aboki M.I kewu sose’ fa” After he (M.I) released his debut album “Talk about it” and the resounding success that followed, it was only expected that every other artist would want a pinch of that success.

Today, there is nearly no artist that hasn’t or doesn’t want to feature him. It first started gradually with the song Lade by Djinee and everyone suddenly got the message- “the secret to a hit was to feature Mr. Incredible.” At first, it was cool to hear his voice on every song, to hear those lines, lines like “...I will never crash, I’m no Sosoleso...or... I fly so many times a year I should rent sky...” Hearing M.I drop bars on other rappers song only went on to show his superiority and it was okay.

But like everything no matter how good or sweet it is once it gets too much becomes an issue. I turn on my radio set these days and in nearly every thirty minutes there is that song by Who-the-fuck featuring M.I. It’s become irritating. For Gods sake, why did he go do a song with Kennis Siant Brown (what! I’m ma names too. Even Tuface could not help her out) so who is next? Eedris Abdulkarim? So, I wasn’t surprised when I started reading comments about how M.I didn’t really deliver on a certain track or the other. Some even went as far as calling him wacked or simply overrated. At some point his record label (chocolate city) had to stop him from features so that he could concentrate on his. (Sometimes I wonder if he still has any new stuff to say on his sequel album.)

M.I isn’t the only artist that has suffered this over patronisation; Tuface and Timaya are artist that have also been through the same ordeal. The big question is what did Wande Coal Psquare and D’banj do differently that you don’t hear them everywhere? I know that it isn’t a question of popularity.

Yes, we know he’s Mr. Incredible but even Superman and Incredible Hulk have their days too. So, I’m ma say this the best and simplest way ever and only once so listen hard:

“LEAVE MR. INCREDIBLE THE FUCK ALONE!’